


within, without

by sinshine



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinshine/pseuds/sinshine
Summary: Kaneki was unsettled as he looked at him, feeling as though it somehow wasn’t his Hide. This was certainly the shape of his childhood friend, but the details were all wrong. Not only was Hide’s hair was lighter than Kaneki remembered, but his eyes were tired and dark. He smiled at Kaneki, but even that seemed too sad to be true.“Hide,” Kaneki said and it was almost a question.“Yeah.” Hide’s voice was quiet and rough. He sounded hoarse. “It’s me.”





	within, without

**Author's Note:**

> In response to the tumblr anon prompt: "Au where everything is the same but Hide and Kaneki switch places."

Kaneki was certain that someone was following him.

The sun had set well before Kaneki had even begun his walk home from the campus library. He had been spending a lot of time there lately, ever since Hide had disappeared two weeks ago. Even though the library was still lonely, it was somehow more bearable than sitting alone in his apartment, waiting for a call that never came. Arriving home close to midnight had become a regular part of his schedule, but tonight was different.

Tonight, Kaneki could hear the sound of a second set of footsteps following behind him on the darkened street. He had tried to tell himself that he was imagining it or that it was just the echo of his own footsteps, since they were spaced just as evenly. However, he was unsuccessful at using logic to quell the feeling that he was being watched.

Kaneki’s heart rate increased and his hand tightened on the strap of his shoulder bag but he maintained the same walking speed, not wanting to give away that he knew the other person was there. He felt himself begin to panic and tried to remain calm by thinking his way out of the situation. Kaneki decided that he didn’t want to lead his stalker back to where he lived, but he also didn’t want to stop somewhere and expose himself to being mugged (or worse) in a dark alley. The best option would be to get to someplace well-lit where there would be more people (more witnesses). At the next intersection, Kaneki suddenly turned down a street that would lead him to a 24-hour convenience store. It was then that he heard the footsteps behind him falter, and in that missed half-step Kaneki knew for certain that it wasn’t an echo.

Kaneki broke into a run.

The person behind him swore and ran after him. Kaneki’s shoes slapped on the pavement, his muscles burning as he pushed them well past their limit. A scream caught in his throat and he tried desperately to focus on his breathing but, impossibly, he could hear the footsteps quickly catching up to him. Kaneki opened his mouth to scream but he was tackled sideways, off the sidewalk and into the grass at the edge of a park. His pursuer had wrapped his arms around Kaneki and held him close as they tumbled over each other and rolled to a stop, just outside of the pool of light cast by a streetlamp.

“ _No!_ ” Kaneki struggled to free himself from an iron grip. He kicked his legs and tried to headbutt his attacker. “Let go!”

“Kaneki.”

Kaneki went still. There was only one person who ever said his name like that; like they were saying a prayer. Kaneki’s head snapped up and he stared wide-eyed at Hide.

They stayed like that for a moment, just staring at each other. Kaneki was unsettled as he looked at him, feeling as though it somehow wasn’t _his_ Hide. This was certainly the shape of his childhood friend, but the details were all wrong. Not only was Hide’s hair was lighter than Kaneki remembered, but his eyes were tired and dark. He smiled at Kaneki, but even that seemed too sad to be true.

“Hide,” Kaneki said and it was almost a question.

“Yeah.” Hide’s voice was quiet and rough. He sounded hoarse. “It’s me.”

Kaneki stared for a moment longer but then he scrambled upright, sitting up in the grass. “Hide! What did you-- Where did-?”

“I’m sorry,” Hide said, still smiling sadly as he pushed himself up and sat next to Kaneki. He was dressed in dark clothing that Kaneki had never seen him wear before. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Although, in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have followed you like that.”

“You could have called!” Kaneki snapped. His eyes filled his tears. “Why didn’t you call? Where did you go? I saw Anteiku. They said it was a robbery but no one would tell me where you were.”

“I’m so sorry, Kaneki. I- I can’t...” Hide paused and looked down at the grass near Kaneki’s hand. He chewed his lip. “Kaneki, I have to go away for a while.”

“What?” Kaneki noticed Hide’s dark nails. It didn’t look like polish. He waited for an explanation but Hide didn’t offer one. “That’s not funny.”

“No,” Hide agreed with a sigh. He noticed Kaneki looking at his hands so he curled them into fists so that the nails were hidden. “I shouldn’t have come, but...”

“ _Shouldn’t have come?_ ” Kaneki echoed in disbelief. His mind reeled. “You- you’re leaving? You weren’t even going to-- No. No, you’re not.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No!” Kaneki angrily rubbed the heel of his hand over his cheek, smearing the tears there. “Hide, you- you’re coming home with me. You’re going to explain what’s going on and we’ll-”

“Kaneki.”

“You’re not leaving.” Kaneki’s voice was thick with tears. His frame trembled and he hated that Hide still wouldn’t look at him. Shame suddenly filled him and he balled his hands into fists, clutching handfuls of grass. “Did I... Was it something I did?”

“No,” Hide said sharply, finally turning towards Kaneki. His expression softened when their eyes met. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that… there’s something I need to do. And you can’t come with me.”

“So, you’re leaving me.” Kaneki slumped in defeat. _Just like everyone else._

“I’m sorry-”

“Stop saying that,” Kaneki sobbed. “If you’re sorry, then stay!”

“ _Kaneki_.”

Kaneki was startled into silence by the steel in Hide’s voice and the flash of red in his left eye. He flinched badly when Hide began to move.

“C’mon,” Hide said, voice soft once more. He stood above Kaneki and held out his hand. Kaneki took it and allowed Hide to pull him to his feet.

They walked in silence back to the apartment. Kaneki couldn’t stop shivering, so Hide wordlessly took off his own jacket and draped it over his shoulders. Kaneki pulled it tightly around him even though he wasn’t cold.

Hide stopped half a block away from their destination, in the darkest part of the street.

“I don’t understand,” Kaneki whispered. He felt empty and lost.

“I know. I’m not being fair to you. But I promise I’ll tell you all about it, eventually. One day.” Hide slowly stepped closer to Kaneki. He raised his hand and gently brushed his fingers through Kaneki’s bangs before cupping his face. “I just had to see you. One more time.”

Kaneki leaned into his touch. He didn’t know what Hide’s expression meant, but it made his heart ache to look at him.

 

 

Kaneki woke up on his couch the following morning, still wrapped in the jacket that Hide had given him. Last night, he had thought that it was black but in the morning sun Kaneki could see that it was actually a dark forest green. That seemed a little more like Hide’s style and Kaneki smiled a little, but then he pressed the jacket to his face and started to cry again.

‘ _There’s something I need to do.’_

The scene of a fight in Anteiku. A CCG raid on a dangerous ghoul compound. A flash of red in Hide’s left eye.

‘ _You can’t come with me.’_

“The hell I can’t,” Kaneki said angrily. He spent so much of his life trying not to be angry, but now it was going to fuel him. He pulled out his laptop from where he had left in underneath the coffee table and waited impatiently for it to boot up. When it finally did, Kaneki went to a news site and would spend the next few hours reading about recent ghoul activity in Tokyo.


End file.
